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The seven tell-tale signs of a sheep farmer

We are right in the middle of lambing season and ghostly figures are seen making hurried expeditions to the supermarket, the vets and to Agirdirect stores to snatch supplies and rushing home to continue their 24 hour vigils.  

While the rest of the population is rejoicing in spring weather and dancing through the daffodils, sheep farmers are grabbing a few minutes sleep between in the car while collecting the children from school and trudging through the fields of sideways rain searching for that one difficult ewe that has wandered off to give birth under some distant hedgerow.  Like extras from the ‘Walking Dead’ with the exhausted pallor of new parents who were unexpectedly presented with quintuplets, these are the sheep farmers of Ireland.

Here are seven signs that you are looking at sheep farmers and not remnants from the zombie apocalypse.

  1. Exhausted:
    Grey skin, black rings under the eyes and unable to maintain a conversation. These are not signs of the undead, but simply good folk who have not had an unbroken night of sleep for a month or so. They would love to stand and chat but the pet lambs need feeding in a wee while and the three legged ewe is showing signs of lambing soon. Call back in a month or two and they will be ’normal’ again.
  1. Shedding strange Items:
    Each time a sheep farmer sneezes and search for a tissue, each time they forage in pockets for some change, a plethora of weird items fall from them and land all over the place. Castration rings, a prolapse uterus support and some push in teats can create the wrong impression!
  1. Ranting against the enemies of the State:
    Ranting and complaining is a national pastime. While some are ranting against the Government, the threat of Fracking or cost of living, the exhausted shepherd is ranting about foxes, grey crows, stupid mamma sheep, mastitis, maggots and general exhaustion. They will of course, join in on complaining about the Government, but sure that’s to be expected.
  1. Vet Bills:
    It is advisable not mention the V-E-T word at this time of year, unless you want to experience uncontrollable tears and cause unimaginable angst.
  1. Keeping them warm:
    Don’t bother searching for the snuggly blanket or your favourite sweat shirt. It’s wrapped around a new born showing signs of hypothermia. There is little to be done but to hide the hair dryer and show him the ads for those wonderful lamb mac jackets.
  1. Raising you to my hand:
    Every good sheep farmer tries to avoid the extra work involved in raising pet lambs. Fostering with other mothers and each individuals own techniques for getting exhausted sheep to accept their own offspring can reduce the need, but sometimes it just cannot be avoided.  This is where the sheep farmer comes into his own, with care and pure love she/he will raise those little lambs to his hand. Aw! How cute.
  1. Man’s best friend:
    A good working dog is more than a companion, more than a pet.
    This is a partnership.
    A sheep farmer is never far from his working dogs.
    They share in the misery of bad weather, bad sheep and bad circumstance and at the end of the day there is a shared appreciation for a job well done.